sturgeon are probably responsible for most of history’s “lake monster” sightings around the world! these giant fish do sometimes cruise around just under the surface, and from a distance their primordially scaly spines can look like some kind of fantastical serpent, or something.
“STAY OUT OF THE WATER”
these freshwater fish are generally huge, sure, but some individuals have been recorded as north of 20 feet long, which is frankly ridiculous.
add that to the fact that a single sturgeon can live for more than a century and you’ve got a lake-monster hypothesis!
(or sometimes “jesus christ how did a shark get into the Great Lakes?”)
Holy fucking Jesus, that thing could eat me whole and still have room for dessert!
WELL LUCKILY(?) FOR YOU, sturgeons of all sizes are bottom feeders that rely on a diet of shellfish, crustaceans, and tiny fish that they vacuum up out of the muck. they don’t even really have teeth- a sturgeon couldn’t bite you even if it wanted to.
and when I say “vacuum” I am, perhaps, speaking more literally than you are comfortable with! behold, the mouth of the sturgeon:
they literally just cruise along the bottom and Hoover up anything remotely edible that seems like it might fit in their face! HUGELY uncomfortable to look at, but not dangerous.
*muffled wet slurping noises*
yessirree, if a sturgeon wanted to do you in it would have to resort to beating you to death with its mighty tail, like god intended.
(which might happen if you try to harass a big one! these things have a SEVERE amount of muscle, and a sturgeon legally can be counted as a blunt weapon)
WAIT HOW THE FUCK DID THAT TRANSFORM SCENE GO WHAT
HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY WALKING
The transformation scene works like so:
You take a secret side room and light up the beast really bright. Then you put a glass pane at a diagonal so you can see the reflection of the beast while looking into the actual room.
Then when you want the beast to disappear, you turn off the light in the reflected room and raise the light in the actual room!
I’d say this is an anomaly but seriously roos are sometimes nosy and just need to be in your business, OR they will fight you if you look at them funny. I love them, they’re great, but they make little sense.
The fucking horror I felt in my soul of the 3 seconds it took to try to and work out what the fuck this animal was
